


Hindsight

by apathyinreverie



Series: The Jounin Mascot Babysitter Club [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: BAMF Hatake Kakashi, Family, Fix-It, Gen, Kakashi Raises Naruto, Parent Hatake Kakashi, Protective Hatake Kakashi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:48:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22172062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apathyinreverie/pseuds/apathyinreverie
Summary: The one where Kakashi comes home from a long-term mission, finds little Naruto more or less living on the streets, and decides that he honestly couldn't care less about the Sandaime's laws saying he isn't allowed within ten feet of his sensei's kid.And, okay, the decision to illegally adopt Naruto might have been a bit spur-of-the-moment, but Kakashi still maintains it's not his fault that the rest of Konoha's jounin then decided to take Naruto in as their very own mascot.(A Kakashi-raises-Naruto story.)
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Uzumaki Naruto
Series: The Jounin Mascot Babysitter Club [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1624759
Comments: 111
Kudos: 2202
Collections: Lovely Pieces, Mixed_Fics, Naruto Fics, Real Good Shit





	Hindsight

Kakashi is fifteen when his world ends.

Minato-sensei and Kushina-nee. Gone.

They were his family, his entire _world_.

And now they are gone. Left him behind, just like Obito and Rin and his father. Yet another family lost.

And Kakashi has never dealt well with loss.

In the aftermath of the Kyuubi's attack, with large parts of Konoha destroyed and the all-hands-on-deck mentality having taken over, Kakashi throws himself into ANBU.

Mission after mission, spying on their enemies and allies, endless undercover assignments - so many that he can almost forget his own identity, can almost forget who he is, forget who he is mourning - and countless assassinations, killing on orders, never asking for a reason or a cause or on whose orders he is killing indiscriminately.

Until his very vision bleeds red, his dreams haunted by death and blood and gore.

He lets go of his humanity, turns himself into the weapon Minato-sensei would never have let him become if he were still around.

But Minato-sensei is dead.

And the only thing remaining that still ties Kakashi to his humanity is his teacher’s son. Little Naruto.

He is fairly certain that the little blonde baby - the cheerful toddler Kakashi always seeks out in the bare moments he manages to spend in Konoha between missions, just a glimpse of the child before he is off on another mission again - is the only thing that keeps him from simply giving in to the madness scratching at the edges of his mind. A madness born from too much loss, too much darkness, too much sacrifice.

He doesn't dare get too close to Minato's kid, can't bear the thought of tainting the baby with his bloodstained hands, the hands of a killer, dripping the blood of Konoha's enemies. But between his many missions he still manages a few moments from time to time, just a glimpse of that bright spot of happiness remaining in his life. Like quickly basking in a ray of sunlight, before he dives back under, lets himself be once more dragged into the darkness of missions and killing and endless death. The darkness that is slowly consuming his very soul.

But it's the thoughts of little Naruto, of his sensei's son that let him hang on to whatever remains of his sanity.

Naruto who is still alive. Naruto who is a jinchuuriki, now - even as a toddler - already protecting Konoha just as his parents did. Konoha, the town that Sensei and Kushina and Obito died for.

And it seems obvious to Kakashi that in their absence, it is on him to protect the town everyone precious to him loved so much.

Even if the only way he knows to protect is by killing their enemies from the shadows.

So, that's what he does.

And maybe he should have stayed in Konoha, should have simply taken Naruto in, should have given the little orphaned boy a home, same as his parents had done for Kakashi.

But in the aftermath of the Kyuubi's attack, in the aftermath of losing most everything precious to him, Kakashi can barely think straight, most certainly doesn’t think he’d be able to take care of a small child.

Kakashi is fifteen. He barely knows how to take care of himself.

And to his relief, when he applies for his first ANBU mission after the attack, the Sandaime doesn't object, doesn't even so much as allude to Kakashi's duty of taking in Naruto.

He is endlessly grateful for the Hokage's kindness of not making him actually refuse to take in his teacher's son by never asking him to do so in the first place.

So, he leaves Konoha behind and leaves Naruto to be raised by the Hokage.

The Sandaime who already has a family, who already raised his own children, and who was just as close to Minato as Kakashi was. Surely, the man will take care of Naruto. And do a much better job than Kakashi could ever hope to.

He is absolutely sure of it.

Well, he _is_ sure until the day he gets home from a six-months long undercover mission in Kumo. A mission than went horrifically bad at the end, leaving him and his ANBU partner no choice but to abandon all subterfuge by forcing their way into the heart of Kumogakure, grab the intel they were sent for, grab his by-then-out-for-the-count ANBU partner on the way out, and then promptly high-tail it out of there, leaving a path of destruction and dead bodies in his wake, forced to fight his way out of enemy territory.

But in the end, he made it back, even if he is bleeding steadily from several wounds - the cut on his thigh feeling rather deep even if he hasn't bothered to check it yet - and he also can't breathe in properly, most likely due to a couple of cracked ribs, and he is fairly certain that he has a concussion. But he managed to complete the mission and to get himself and his teammate back home. 

So, despite the rather messy end, by definition, the mission was still successful.

Kakashi already dropped off his ANBU partner at the hospital, announced their return at the mission office, and he will hand in his report tomorrow.

Thankfully, it's pretty late already, so the Sandaime had already gone home when they made it back and, thus, Kakashi was able to take off before anyone could think to order him to a hospital to get himself looked at.

He hates the hospital. Nothing good ever happens there.

But - having escaped medical attention or not - he is also far too wired to actually go home.

He just spent a couple of months undercover in enemy territory, always looking over his shoulder, his battle instincts forever-at-the-ready, justified paranoia keeping him constantly alert. Which was then followed by a full-on sprint all the way through Kumo and back to Konoha while injured and also carrying his unconscious teammate, who had been in a less-than-great condition after taking a poisoned kunai to his ribs barely outside of Kumogakure.

The only reason he made it back at all was his pack. Without his nin-dogs, scouting ahead and keeping watch so Kakashi could get at least a couple of minutes of sleep every once in a while, he'd never have made it back.

And, sure, now he is home.

But that doesn't mean he is able to simply switch off his battle readiness, to just let go of the constant alertness. It'll take him at least another hour or two until the adrenaline has faded enough for him to be able to truly sit still for any length of time, much less for him to actually get any rest.

Instead he stops by one of the food stalls that is still open, and then simply keeps meandering down the street, food in hand.

Konoha at night is peaceful. Even more so in the rain.

He absently notes that it must have been raining here for a while already, the streets having been turned to mud at this point and barely anyone aside from the occasional shinobi patrol to be seen outside, only the occasional pedestrian hurrying along the street on their way home.

Kakashi just wanders aimlessly, outwardly calm and relaxed, nothing to give away his still red-tinted vision, still filled with the many bodies he left in his wake, having cut a path straight through Kumo's forces on his way back.

He is pretty certain that after this mission, there will be a couple of extra lines added to his bingo book entry with the next edition.

It won't be the first time.

He's had a flee-on-sight order next to his name ever since he turned seventeen. At some point he even got himself a nickname. They call him Copy-Nin Hatake.

He thinks it's only fitting that Obito - by way of the gift he bestowed on Kakashi with his Sharingan - gets part of the recognition for Kakashi's bloody reputation. 

Well, Minato would have absolutely hated the fact that Kakashi managed to get himself a bingo book entry by the age of sixteen. Kushina would have smacked the back of Kakashi's head for putting himself in danger, before dragging him along for celebratory ramen, and then proceeding to coo over how adorable she found Kakashi's bingo book picture.

They would have. If they were still alive.

Kakashi's chest constricts.

Sensei has been dead for more than two years now, almost three.

And after those first two months of staying in Konoha, Kakashi has barely spent a couple of days in total back here, picking up mission after mission, sometimes getting new orders while still on his way back to the village, never actually making it back to Konoha in between.

His mission record is perfect.

He's honestly grateful for the endless line of missions. Anything to get himself out of Konoha where everything reminds him of the family he used to have, the family he finally managed to find after already having lost his first one.

The village that took everything from him.

But now, after months of not being himself, of having to turn himself into someone else, cutting throats and stealing secrets and undermining every single person around him just to manipulate the odds in Konoha's favor, he is finally back. And with his current injuries, he'll likely be forced to stick around at least for a couple of days before his next mission.

Still, he feels too dirty - his hands too bloody, his vision too red, his ears too full of cut-off screams and gurgling pleas - to visit the memorial stone, doesn't think he'd be able to face Obito right now.

Sometimes he thinks the constant death and betrayal and killing-in-cold-blood will have frozen his very soul by now. Well, if he still has one.

So, for now he just continues to wander aimlessly. Wanders the streets of the town that is supposed to be his home, even if he already lost almost everything that once made it so.

In the end, he doesn't know whether it's his own senses - so very attuned to what little remains of his family - that guide him to the side alley in the not-so-great part of town or whether it's just coincidence that has him come across the little form huddled under a ledge protruding from one of the houses.

Kakashi blinks down at the mop of blonde hair, darkened and weighed down by rain.

He knows who this is without even having to see the kid's face. Something in him recognizes Sensei's child almost instinctively.

His feet won't let him move away, even though Naruto hasn't spotted him yet, gaze directed to the ground, watching the water run along the street.

It's another couple of seconds before the kid becomes aware of his presence, probably having spotted his feet right in front of him.

And Kakashi watches the thin arms tense around small knees, pulling too skinny legs even tighter to a small chest, even as the head lifts.

His breath stutters in chest as he is met with blue eyes, almost the exact shade as Minato's.

Then, a bright smile - ridiculously broad and so absolutely fake - overtakes the small face.

"Hi," Naruto chirps up at him, voice just as brightly cheerful as his fake smile. And absolutely no recognition of Kakashi in his eyes.

It hurts.

The fact that Naruto doesn't know who he is.

 _My fault_ , Kakashi thinks, can't help but hate himself a little for that little fact. _It's_ my fault _he doesn't know me_.

"Hello," he finally manages to greet back numbly.

And he simply isn't ready for this, isn't ready to actually meet Naruto face-to-face for the first time. Not like this.

Not with his hands still blood-stained, metaphorically and probably also literally, still far too dirty in every sense of the word to be this close to his sensei's child.

But.

It's also cold outside. And raining. And Naruto is only wearing a t-shirt, no jacket in sight.

_Why isn't Naruto inside? Why isn't he with whoever is taking care of him?_

Kakashi blinks at the child still watching him with that same bright smile and the far-too-alert, far-too-cautious attentiveness in his eyes.

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto," the boy chirps on. And something in Kakashi's chest tightens at the obvious wariness in Naruto's eyes as he watches him for a reaction to his name.

 _Why is Naruto watching me like he expects me to_ at best _turn around and leave at hearing his name? And why is it 'Uzumaki' instead of 'Namikaze' anyway?_

"You're s'pposed to introduce yourself," the boy mumbles after several moments of silence on Kakashi's end.

He blinks. "I'm Kakashi. Hatake Kakashi," he finally manages to return. His mind is still spinning.

Because, why is Naruto here, outside in the rain? Why does he look so skinny? Why is he dirty and not in the haven't-been-able-to-bathe-today way but rather in the it's-been-a-week-or-two-since-someone-bothered-to-give-me-something-clean-to-wear way. Why are there tears in his clothes that Kakashi would bet his life on were made by something sharp - like a kunai, or a knife - even if he can't spot any fresh or healing wounds on the child and any blood would have been washed out by the rain at this point.

_Why is Naruto, sensei's son, sitting here, outside, in the cold rain? Why isn't he inside and warm and safe?_

Kakashi has been going on missions, has been trading his very soul in order to keep Konoha safe, in order to make Naruto's home as safe as it could possibly be. He is supposed to be _safe_ here.

 _Why doesn't Naruto look_ happy _?_

Instead, the child - not even three years old yet, so damn fragile and vulnerable - is still watching him, even as some of the tension in his frame releases when Kakashi doesn't in any way react negatively to his name.

"Wanna sit?" the boy finally asks with fake cheer. Like he absolutely doesn't expect Kakashi to actually want to sit next to him.

That fact alone makes it impossible for Kakashi not to accept the offer, like strings pulling at him, towards the child, pulling him closer and down.

And the honest surprise in Naruto's eyes as Kakashi steps closer, even as the boy eagerly scoots over a little to make room for him to sit, to share the space under his little ledge protecting him from the rain, honestly tugs at him.

Which doesn't change the fact that Kakashi has absolutely no idea how to interact with a small child.

So, they just sit in silence for a couple of moments, watching the rain. He ignores the way Naruto is holding perfectly still at his side, the way the child seems to be barely breathing as he not-so-surreptitiously watches Kakashi from the corner of his eye.

And something about all of this, the way Naruto is clearly expecting him to leave any second now, is honestly a little heartbreaking.

Then, his eyes fall on the container in his hand and for want of anything else to say he holds it out to the kid. "Takoyaki?"

Naruto's eyes light up. And Kakashi watches as the kid manages to devour the entire portion within moments. Like he is honestly hungry. Starving, even.

And he feels his surprise at this situation, his confusion at what he is observing slowly changing, shifting into something much closer to resembling anger, true fury. Because, he truly doesn't like what he is seeing here.

"S' good," the boy is grinning up at him, the fake cheer and distrustful caution finally having disappeared from his face. And the expression looks so much like his sensei's smile, even if the impishness in his eyes is all Kushina. It almost has Kakashi's breath stop in his throat.

He just nods numbly in vague agreement.

"Why are you outside?" Kakashi finally asks. Can't not.

"Was too wet," the kid replies, shoulders hunching a little. "Matron-san says I gotta be dry to go inside."

A pause as Kakashi blinks. Lets the fury burn through him at what is being implied here.

Aside from the ridiculousness of telling a child to go dry off in the rain, there is something else very very wrong with what Naruto just said.

Because, "Matron?"

"From m' orph'nage," the kid mumbles, lids clearly growing heavy now that he has eaten something, swaying a little closer to Kakashi, most likely drawn to his warmth.

But Kakashi is too distracted to do more than absently note the kid's sudden proximity.

Because, _orphanage_.

And as much as Kakashi might have thought he had frozen his heart and soul and mind ever since he joined ANBU, the fury that runs through him burns brightly as ever.

He breathes through it, keeps himself under control even as his anger simmers into the sort of hell-fire wrath he hasn't felt in years. Ever since he lost the last of his family.

Well, almost the last.

Because he still has Naruto.

Naruto who is supposed to be staying with the Sandaime. Or some other family loyal to Minato who would know how to take care of a kid.

Sure, Kakashi never actually checked exactly _who_ Naruto was living with even when he went to get a quick glance of him before taking off on his next mission. But he had simply _assumed_ the Sandaime would have made sure that Naruto was taken in by someone decent, that he had a place to call _home_.

Not an orphanage. Much less one that apparently locks out its wards at night.

A slight weight against his side draws his attention back to the boy beside him. Only to be met with the sight of Naruto now fully leaning against him, eyes barely open as he watches the rain continuing to come down, looking like he is about to fall asleep.

And it's been years since Kakashi had anyone this close for any reason other than sparring, fighting, or killing them.

He doesn't quite know what to do with the fact that Naruto apparently sees no problem with trusting him. Just because Kakashi agreed to sit next to him and then shared his food with him.

That sort of trust is _dangerous_.

Which doesn't change the fact that Kakashi doesn't so much as move a muscle, just holds perfectly still so as not to disturb the child.

And it doesn't take long at all for the boy to fall asleep against Kakashi's side.

Kakashi blinks, considers the child leaning against him and then turns to form the hand sign. A shadow clone puffs into existence and Kakashi can see his own anger burning in its eyes even has his clone is already turning around, leaping up towards the roof tops, already on its way to gather some information.

To figure out just what _in the name of chakra_ is going on.

But Kakashi himself remains right _there_ , watches the rain with the slight form of his teacher's child sleeping peacefully against his side.

And if he carefully moves his arm to wrap around the tiny form to offer a little more warmth to the boy, well, there is no one around to see and call him out on it.

It takes less than an hour for his clone to dispel itself, transferring its newly gathered information to Kakashi.

Information that turns his fury into seething, ice-cold rage.

Turns out, the Sandaime never took care of Naruto personally. At all.

Instead, he gave him to an orphanage.

Naruto, _Minato's son_ , has been staying at an orphanage ever since his parents died for him, died for this entire village. And the Sandaime never so much as mentioned that little fact to Kakashi, simply leaving him in his belief that Naruto was properly taken care of.

Not only that, but about a year ago when a shinobi apparently got chatty and gave away that Naruto is host to the Kyuubi, the villagers started taking out their fear and anger on the toddler. But instead of actually stepping in, the Sandaime simply forbade anyone from so much as mentioning the Kyuubi. Like that was going to help. And to top it all off, the Sandaime apparently also made actually adopting Naruto illegal, lest someone with ill intentions tried to get their hands on Konoha's jinchuuriki.

Which would even be reasonable. If it weren't for the fact that the Sandaime could easily have just adopted Naruto himself. No one would have dared to touch the child of a _God of Shinobi_ , adopted or not.

Kakashi clenches his teeth, feels helpless in his fury, shame running through him at never having bothered to so much as ask or even properly check on Naruto in these past three years. Simply assuming he was taken care of.

He has been giving his very soul for this village, has been doing anything in his power to keep Konoha - Naruto's home - just that little bit safer.

Kakashi breathes out, blinks in an attempt to clear the hazy red from his vision.

He hesitates for another second, chest tight with the gravity of what he is about to do next.

But in the end, there really isn't much to think about at all.

He takes Naruto home with him.

And if anyone asks, he'll cheerfully claim ignorance of any laws that say he isn't allowed near his teacher's son.

Hey, he was gone for months, hasn't spent any significant amount of time in Konoha for literally years. Who is to say he didn't simply miss those new laws being passed at all?

And Kakashi absolutely dares anyone to try and challenge him on that claim.

If no one else will take care of what little remains of his family - of his sensei, of Kushina - then Kakashi will damn well have to. And if he has to fight the Hokage himself in order to do so, then _chakra be damned_ so be it.

+++

Everyone in Konoha's shinobi forces is surprised when, one seemingly random afternoon - mere hours after having gotten back from yet another successful mission - Hatake Kakashi announces his retirement from ANBU.

The Copy-Nin doesn't even give a reason. But he is still absolutely adamant about returning to jounin duty and thereby being able to take missions that allow him to stay closer to Konoha from now on.

It seems rather suspicious to the other jounin.

So, of course, they go to investigate.

None of them expected anything even close to what they find.

+++

The worst-kept secret in all of Konoha is the fact that Hatake Kakashi has a kid.

Well, 'worst-kept' amongst the jounin at least. The rest of the village is still blissfully unaware of the fact that Hatake Kakashi at one point adopted Uzumaki Naruto.

Not officially, because that's still very much illegal. But effectively, Naruto has been living with Kakashi ever since he was three and it didn't take long for every single jounin worth their salt to figure it out.

Not that Hatake made it particularly hard, seeing as - whenever he is sent out on a mission - he tends to show up at the jounin center with little Naruto in tow, looking for someone to watch the kid while he is gone.

And he is never short on babysitters. Quite the opposite really.

The fights that break out over who gets to babysit Naruto next are the stuff of legends.

So much so that after the third time the jounin center is entirely destroyed in their squabbles over the blonde toddler, their Jounin Commander finally decides to set up a non-negotiable schedule for babysitting duties. They all grumble about the fact that Shikaku _coincidentally_ also puts himself first in line on that list.

But in the end, they still agree to stick to the schedule. And babysitting duty quickly becomes their favorite and most sought after currency for any wagers, eagerly collected by the winner of any spars and bets and dares.

Because Minato was all of their Hokage, _too_.

They were loyal to the Yondaime, to the man who in the end gave his life for them all, who even turned his own son into a living sacrifice for the sake of their village. And leaving his kid to live in misery while they were ordered to look the other way, still has most of them glance away shamefully whenever reminded of those three years where none of them did anything to help the blonde toddler.

Until the day Kakashi simply decided to ignore any laws demanding as much.

They collectively join up as soon as they figure it out. And no one so much as breathes a word about any of it. Not to the chuunin, the ANBU, the civilians, or even the Hokage.

And, well, the law very specifically only forbids them from approaching Naruto _Uzumaki_ anyway. And they only know one Naruto _Hatake_. How were they supposed to know that they are the same kid?

Sure, it's a flimsy excuse at best, but that's the one they will all stick with.

Even if they were to be arrested for it.

Well, seeing as Ibiki absolutely adores little Naruto and would be the first to jump into the line of fire for the boy, it's not like a possible stay at T&I as punishment for disobeying that particular law seems much of a threat anyway.

+++

In hindsight, Kakashi can admit that the decision to illegally adopt Naruto might have been a bit spur-of-the-moment. Still, he adamantly maintains that it's not his fault that the rest of Konoha's jounin then decided to take in Naruto as their very own mascot.

He is also fairly certain that the blame for Naruto's tendency to defend his Kashi-nii by using anyone he disapproves of for 'moving target practice' is to be solely laid at Genma's feet. And maybe Anko's. Or Ibiki's.

Or any of the _other_ utterly insane jounin who delight in babysitting Naruto whenever Kakashi has to go on a mission and needs someone to watch his kid for a bit.

Either way, it's clearly not his fault that Naruto - from the age of four onward - spends most of his time while Kakashi is away on missions cheerfully terrorizing the entirety of Konoha with his pranks, never being short on alibis provided by his collection of insane jounin aunts and uncles.

To the contrary.

Kakashi - once more on his way out of the village for a two day long mission to Wave - listens cheerfully to the row of explosions going off behind him, suspiciously close to where he just left five year old Naruto to be watched over by Anko a couple of minutes ago, feeling rather delighted by the chorus of alarmed, civilian shrieks that follows immediately after. He does absolutely nothing to suppress the proud - and rather vindictive - smirk curving his lips behind his mask, not feeling the least bit sorry for any of Naruto's victims.

If anything, Konoha kind of had it coming.

**Author's Note:**

> So. After years of resisting my muses' demands for a Naruto fic, I finally gave in. And, _of course_ , it also had to be a what-if plot bunny that would turn the entire Naruto 'verse on its head... XD
> 
> But you probably noticed that I kind of squeezed the entire premise of the fic into those last couple of brief scenes at the end and I have no idea whether I'll actually write any of those out and add them to the fic at any point. We'll see :) Would absolutely love to know what you think :D


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